It's All About Your A, B...D's?

I've joked over the years with my husband that after we're done have kids I'm taking one of his profit sharing checks from work and getting a boob job. Though I've never actually been entirely serious, the thought of knowing I could fix the "Sager Sisters" as I am sure they will be called in the next 5-10 years (or less!) does make me feel a little better.

I have to say that the 5 months I've been pregnant have changed my mind, and fast. I say this because my chest had grown...and fast. The last 2 pregnancies, nothing happened in this "top region" until the babies were born, so imagine my surprise when I wake up one morning to put on my comfy "Vickies" bra and could barely reach the clasps in the back together and once I managed to to my boobs looked like a fat man stuffed in a XS Speedo.

I refused to give up my much loved collection of Vickies (Victoria's Secret for those a little behind this morning) bras. I'm what you might call a "Bra Snob" I prefer and typically unless there's an emergency, will only wear Vickies. I feel in 29 years I have earned the right for great comfort and support even if, until now, there's not been a whole lot to actually comfort and support....

I tired on each and every bra in my drawer, and not one even came close. So I decided to go "Old School", 1960's banner waving, Make Love Not War, BAN THE BRA...I mean come on, I'm not going out to buy a whole new round when they will only fit me for 4 months tops! And for a few weeks this method worked. Until I finally realized that it was time to give in and get myself a new, larger and probably not nearly as cute as my others, "over the shoulder boulder holder". At my next trip to Target I stood pondering my new size, too lazy to try it on and decided with the help of my husband (who thinks he is a boob size estimator simply by sight) to get a 34 C. I'm a 34, I could have only gone up a cup size...34 C....riiiight.

I took the new outcast bra home and tried it on, those stupid little clasps in the back barely connected and my sister pointed out that I was "popping out" of this one too. WHAT! Oh come on! I couldn't possibly be a D? Could all my husbands years of man hood faded away when we got married, could he have estimated the size of my new found boobs incorrectly?

Needless to say, I sit here "anti-bra" today, knowing full well I have to drag myself and "the girls" back to the store to buy a new bra....in what I can only imagine will be a D. My God, will I even be able to walk by the time this baby is born? If these puppies keep growing, ALex and I are going to need bigger bed!

Utterly Pathetic Service - a.k.a UPS

You know UPS, the "Ups Man" as we used to call him. I thought UPS stood for United Parcel Service, but after today I have a new name for them!

You see, Today my beautiful and rather expensive crib was delivered. I have been waiting for days, so when I went to let the dog out, this bitterly cold Minnesota morning, I was thrilled to see it had shown up. Thrill turned quickly to horror when I realized it was not in my breezeway like all the other boxes ever delivered to my house have been, and the note on my front door clearly asking all items be left in the breezeway, had been ignored. (Something I had been told by UPS at one time was unneeded because they always do what they can not leave boxes in plain sight or outside in poor weather to avoid theft and damage.)

Where was my crib you ask if it had not been safely placed in the breezeway? Well, it was leaned up against the side of my garage, in a load of snow. You would think that the combination of Fragile stamps, the words Carters and Classic Crib and the fact the box was not water proof all, would have been indicators that leaving it in a snow bank was not a good career move. Not to mention how easy it would have been to steal it from where he left it sitting.

I kind of stood there in shock at first. Why had the box made it within inches of the door to the breezeway but not in it? I had no choice but to haul it in myself. I grabbed one of the plastic yellow straps around it and lugged it into the breezeway then into my kitchen. Then I picked up my phone.

When the local office reached me through a message given at the customer service line of the issue at hand, the woman running the shift said this:

The package was well over the weight limit of what the driver should have been handling, and somehow this package of over sized proportions and weight "slipped by" them in the office and ended up on his truck. (HTF does a 70+ lb box slip by anything!?) It should not have been on his truck, in fact maybe UPS Freight could have done this, but it should not have come through regular UPS at all. The driver delivered it in good faith, though he didn't have to, and did what he could to get the box as far as he could. Her tone indicated she thought I was an idiot for sending the box through UPS in the first place, and I should have known better...hello I was the recipient for crying out loud!

At this point she paused as if I was going to break into a speech thanking him and understanding, Ha! She obviously doesn't know me at all!

I calmly said back to her "I'm sorry, but that excuse seems rather lame to me. I'm 127 pounds and 5 months pregnant and I managed to haul the over 70lb box up the 2 steps into my breezeway, which were inches away from where he left it, so I'm fairly certain that it was doable by a man who carries large items all day long. Not to mention that if he could not get it inside, the car in the driveway indicated that someone was home he could have knocked to let me know of the issue and that my item was sitting in snow. It was clear what was in the box, and that it was fragile and where he left it was irresponsible, and he knew it because of his lack of care to inform us. I intend to put the crib together tonight and if there is any damage I will file a claim and expect you replace it asap. And I also will be contacting Babies R Us, who I believe usees you for all their shipping and explain this to them and how you handle their customers items, because I had no choice in how the box got to me - I simply ordered it online."

Silence on the other end of the phone.

She apologized again and said she would further look into it. I doubt very much she will call me back today - but you better believe that I will be calling her back and contacting her boss as well if there is even a ding in the wood or slight wetness to the wood pieces!

This says "Classic Crib" at the top, with the word Crib, Toddler Bed, and Bed used at least 10 more times in large print!

Now I know this doesn't exactly say "Don't F-ing leave the box in the snow because cribs are made of wood and water and snow are bad for it" but COME ON!

10, 9, 8, 7, 6.......

Countdown Clocks, Fun Countdowns

We're not excited about our ultrasound next week at all....;0)

It Could Only Happen To Me

I'm sick. Paige is sick. Alex is in Dallas until Thursday and it's about 18 below outside.

It's way too cold to take a sick 4 year old out to the pharmacy, and wouldn't you know I have oodles of medication for her in the house but none for me. Not even a measly Tylonal. So at least she's feeling better but my sinus headache is killing me and I have had it now for 2 days.

I get sick at the worst times possible!

Thankfully my MIL is stopping by this afternoon, and if i can catch her while on her way maybe she can bring me some medication relief!

Ugh, back to being ill. Yippie.

The Sweeney Crib, Yo!

We have, after many hours searching the internet, 2 hours in Babies 'R' Us shaking, moving and in some cases putting the 4 year old in a few - found our crib!

The Carters Classic Sleigh Crib in Chocolate
I know it looks black, but it's really a dark brown.

My MIL (come on class, remember what that is?) ordered it today from Babies 'R' Us, and though we didn't get to see it in person we have read dozens of reviews and seen many personal photos of it in other nursery's. The In-Laws have ever so graciously offered to pay the bulk of the crib, and Alex and I are covering whats left after that.I think I am more excited for this to arrive, then I was when I brought home my wedding dress. Is that lame?

It's going to get here while Alex is in Dallas on business, I just know it. If it does, I'm going to stare anxiously at the box until he gets home and then have him assemble the crib the second he walks in the door. Poor guy. Though I think he will be just as excited about it, jet-lagged or not and want to do it with out my asking. Knowing my wonderful husband!

The Great Sweeney Migration of '09

This weekend, hopefully, we are doing the "Chinese Fire Drill" of bedrooms. Here's the plan as of right now.

-Paige is moving into mine and Alex's room, which she is thrilled about because it's blue and she' has wanted a blue room forever.

-The baby will then take Paige's room. We are planning to paint the paneling white for a more "baby" look, if it won't take we will sheet rock.

-Where will Alex and I go? The upstairs living room for right now.

It's not ideal, but we have to build a wall or two in the basement and call the Orkin man to come do his thing before I'll sleep down there! I HATE Minnesota basements, it's like a buggy breeding ground - EW!

We're hoping to put in some what of a master bedroom down there, unfortunately we are always so worried about resale value with whatever we do, we don't know if we should build a smaller room that could be used as an office later on, or a bigger room to give the room a clear "master".

The deal is, our home is a one car garage, starter type home with 2 bedrooms currently - making it more of a family deal will possibly make those looking to downsize, or start out hesitant to buy. Either way were moving on Down....lol...to the basement that is - and if you come to our home before the bedroom is built, don't mind the bedroom in the living room....hahaha!

Why Didn't Someone Tell Me My Ass Was So Big?

I love the movie Spaceballs, if you did too you would know that the title of my blog is a line from the movie where President Skroob's head is on backward after a "beaming accident"

The quote from the movie totally describes how I'm feeling at 17 weeks pregnant. I'm beginning to think that someone forgot to tell my stomach that it, not my ass is what's supposed to be popping out. I feel like I could be in a Sir-Mix-A-Lot video.

And somehow, against all laws of gravity, my underwear are not exactly getting tigher...they are falling down in the back. I mean really, who would have thought that would happen? When you begin to outgrow something you squish out of it, right? I guess my underwear are jumping ship so to speak and praying to God I just go get some new ones and put them out of their misery.

This would be the point where several of you who know me personally will be happy, Amber finally has an ass! Something I admit was left of the list of added features when God created me...and most my family come to think of it. But having lived so many years and been through 2 pregnancies sans ass, having one now is a bit odd to say the least! I'd better be careful or they'll install a warning device to me that beeps each time I back up.