This morning, while sitting in the car waiting for the nice school lady to come around and let Paige out of the car for drop off, we were listening to K102. A normal choice in our family, when the iPod isn't on I choose this because in general it's more kid friendly then KDWB - who the hell knows what's going to come flying out of their mouths on that station in the morning, and the last thing I need is for my daughter to go to 1st grade talking about "shaky things" (KDWB's code word for vibrators..) Or whipping out words to Ke$ha during recess (yes, I used the dollar sign....don't judge me.)
So, anyway Toby Keith was playing quietly in the back ground, "I Love This Bar" to be exact. For those of you unfamiliar with the song, it talks about the different types of people you might meet in a bar. Harmless enough really. The second part of the song begins......
"We've got short skirts, I've seen high techs. Blue collar boys and rednecks"
Paige and I are still talking... something in my brain is warning me that maybe I should turn the radio off, but lack of coffee is getting in the way of my fully processing this request. So I ignore it. Song continues:
"And we got lovers, lots of lookers, I've even seen dancing girls and hookers"
(so much for this station being more kid friendly today!)
Shit.
Mentally I begin to kick myself. About the exact second I remember that word was coming, I also realized it was way to late to change the station before Paige heard it.
I start to rationalize in my head.....Maybe she missed it, we were talking. The radio was pretty quiet. Plus it's not like it's a word she knows, just one I don't want her to know. Okay, be cool mom. If you act like it was a big deal she'll think it was a big deal.
The car goes silent, and then it happens.
Paige: "Uncle Cory is a Hooker"
*trying to cover up a laugh, as Uncle Cory is the furthest thing from a hooker there is. Plus can guys even be hookers?*
Mom: I'm sorry, what? (being sure not to look at her so she can't see the smile I'm fighting with every nerve in my face)
Paige: Yea, we were fishing once and he got a hook in my thumb (sticks thumb in my face) see, mom right there you can still see the little white spot where it was. So he's a total hooker"
*At this point I deserve a freaking EMMY for not busting out into uncontrollable laughter. My kid just used the phrase "total hooker" for cryuing out loud*
Mom: Ohhhh. I see, yeah I remember that.
(At this point I have let the hooker word go. I figure since that's what she thinks it means, I'm going to let her think it. It can't do any harm she's not going to tell any one at school right?)
Paige: I can't wait to tell my friends that my Uncle is a hooker! *huge smile on her face, as if she knows..."
Double Shit.
I quickly turn around and look her in the face, and say "Paige, hooker doesn't mean someone who hooked your thumb. So we shouldn't tell the kids at school Uncle Cory is one." I'm totally grasping at straws at this point, I am not prepared to explain this. She may have just as well asked me where babies come from.
Paige: Oh? Well what does it mean then?"
Mom: It's just a grown up word that kids shouldn't use and if you do use it you will get in trouble, especially at school so forget you heard it today ok?
This seemed to tide her over. Normally it being a "grown up" thing is enough to scare her off it. However I will not be surprised if I get an e-mail or phone call today about the fact the whole 1st grade class was chanting Hooker because of something Paige said......
Someone revoke my mom card please....
