Friday, June 5, 2009

He-Man Has No Weenie.

I don't know where Paige comes up with this things, if she makes them up. Maybe Mattel didn't make ergonomically correct action figures in the 80's and she's noticed from playing with them, though why she is looking for his weenie is beyond me. Never the less, you should all know: He-Man has no weenie.

It's a shock, I'll let you all recover.

This is only one of the many things that have come flying out of Paige's mouth lately. Strange questions, no one prepares you for let alone tell yous how to answer. Funny names she makes up for things and people that she doesn't find humor in, but the sick minds of the adults in her life giggle at behind her back...

For instance, you know the name game song? Paiger Paiger bo baiger.....and so forth...well from that she has learned that Kimbo and Bimbo rhyme and occasionally her fathers poor girlfriend Kim is insulted by an unknowing 5 year old.

Another example? Ok, she's named her mermaid barbie that she has in the tub with her "Queen of the Pink". I'll let you take from that what you will.

And of course yesterday when she was getting out of her swim suit and asked what the little lumps on her chest were. I think my reaction to the question was funnier then anything because I stared at her like I had no idea myself. In reality I was fighting to find the right thing to say, I hadn't discussed this with her dad - I didn't want to give them some funny name, but the word breasts didn;t strike me as 5 year old friendly.

I used the word anyway, and thought I was in the clear. Nope. She then wanted to know what the other part of them were called. Ugh. Seriously, did I have to use the word breasts and nipple in the same sentance to my child, at this age??

"Nipples" I barely let the word out.

"Nibbles? That's a funny name"

"No no, hunny Nip-ples. With a P."

Oh the horror.

"Oooooooo, NIPPLES" she shouts.

That conversation couldn't have ended fast enough for me! I don't mind explaining things to her so much as I mind her repeating it to other kids she knows. The thought of her sitting at her soccer game and pointing to her chest and saying "I have breasts and nipples" honestly scares me sometimes. Like I need Little Susie going home to mommy and repeating that and her say she learned if from that Janssen Girl.....

No comments: